Being thankful and praying

[angel61]

My dear Cyrena,

I am so amazed at how we think alike, and how our H's react in the same way. Cake-eating was exactly the words that popped in my mind when I was re-analyzing what happened yesterday. You are so right with the minimizing actions that H is doing. H does think that OW is free of fault, and even once said she is part of the solution because she rejected him and made him thnk what a fool he was to be a middle aged, married man trying to run after a single, young woman. And although he knows how much his actions hurt our family, he is avoiding facing it by saying that the past is past.

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Angel, I think that, the better your R becomes, the more your H will lose his need for the OW. But you need to let him come to that place--pushing him faster than he's ready to go will just backfire on you because it is controlling. So keep giving him the space to work on himself, and try to work on your sense of trust that your H (and God) will deliver, without needing you to push as well.

I think the best way to approach all this is exactly how you worded it above.

I will keep on praying and curb my controlling instincts. I hope that when the time comes that H will travel to OW's country for the first time I will be able to keep from pushing, that I can maintain my calmness. It gets harder as we go along with the reconciliation, because I can't help but develop some expectations....hey, that's it, thats what made me pushy! But I will keep posting and with everyone's help, and with God, I know that someday we will get there.