Your IC may have had a good connection with you but maybe hit a wall and wasn't doing any good. The things you talk about being afraid of W, needing her like oxygen, backing down on arguments and then frustration building into anger, these are things you would seek IC for. Did you discuss these things with your IC? It's hard to believe that you did and she felt you were doing just fine.

You sound like a good candidate for a DB coach, since it's solution focused and you learn to do more of what works and less of what doesn't. Or at least find a different IC, or do some reading, to help yourself detach from your W's emotions and figure out how to feel stronger.

When one person changes, the relationship dynamics have to change. So if she won't go to MC you can still create change on your own.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.