AC I always read your thread and am sorry you are having a rough patch right now. In my case, W still lives with me, but is moving after the holiday season. In her mind, she's BEEN gone, it's just a formality now. Like you and Rick said, I've been struggling so much with the fact that after 13 years she can pick up and bail out--- not even want to be friends. The WAS mindset is so strange to us, but we have no choice.
I echo what Val said. One thing I'm learning, slowly, but learning, is that the act of detaching (like not sending things,etc..) actually IS loving them. It's respecting the WAS wishes to be away/not with LBS and we have to honor it, or we are acting for ourselves and in our own interest. It's SOOOOO hard, but the detaching is what the vets tell me is the only chance some of our M's have!
Hang in here AC. HUGS
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed