Putting it back together, but SSM issues linger

[TeaEarlGreyHot]

A quick reply on vices and habits and other odds and ends.

If sex (ir something else) is a "vice" and you practice it often enough, it becomes a "habit" (rather than just a vice. There is a bit of twisted humor in there.

Remember, as I occasionally have to remind myself, that anger is just fear expressed. And there may be a time where you just let it go.

You asked several posts back why I stay given my situation and why my wife stays given her choice. From my POV, she stays because she mostly has the relationship with me that she wants. I'm not mean, disrespectful or uncaring of either her or others around me. She can mostly have the life that she wants to share without me dictating how it should or has to be.

Why do I stay? Because I made a promise or more than one and it is personally important to me to keep them. I and others have questioned the wisdom of making them and whether they should really be set in stone. This is not the relationship I hoped for, it is not the relationshop and marriage of my dreams, and as I have told her, if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't, simply because I feel I've given up so much.

Mostly the anger/frustration has dissipated simply because hoping for something to change in the presence of no-risk just hasn't produced any results. Although she says she sees things somewhat differently than the way I portray them (meaning she didn't really want a non-sexual relationship, she can neither bring herself to give me permission to sexually engage with her or just make an advance of her own.

notice, for example what Laurie said in her article about that about being permissive about her husband and sexual issues. I don't have that and pointing out that I don't does not make any difference.

So, I've settled in and accepted a non-sexual marriage until death do us part.

The Captain