H's traveling in the past - I think he is powerful enough in the company to lessen the amount of travel he was doing.... had he given them enough justification. But he didn't. Put two and two together. But thats past now and I understand that was the time he was falling for OW really hard.
Present situation - if H really desired so, he also is powerful enought to say that OW is no longer needed. Truth to tell, I think they could survive without her, but she would be the most logical choice as of now because she performed well during the time she was working for them (before she went to the US for her post doc leave).
Caveat: The research project won't last forever, give or take another year or two and they will be done with OW's country, and they will be starting studies in Europe and the US. Hopefully then OW's role will be done by then.
Intermediaries won't work, I agree with 25.
And oh, by the way, even if OW says now that she is not interested because H is married (notice the qualifier, if he were not married then what?), initially she did reciprocate in a sense by acknowledging that there was something special between them (soulmate or something similar, as H described to me long ago). I doubt she ever said ILY to him though. They cut it off after Thanksgiving last year, then when their contact resumed it was more friendly in character, from what H explains, and that gradually, the emotional flavour went away. from my snooping, I know that as late as August, there were still some emotions mentioned on my H's part (he sent an email to her saying that he was overwhelmed by memories when he went to OW's home country sometime end of July) but OW replied simply, can't remember what.
As of now, two forces are at work within my H:
One is the waning force of OW attraction, and his dependence on her to give him the "high", even if its just friendhip.
The other force is that of him wanting to work on our M, his commitment, his realization that we do have love and can learn to love more, and that he wants to keep his family intact and do the right thing.
His actions show that regarding the first force, he is letting go, albeit slowly and in a manner that is easiest to him (cake eating maybe, I don't mind as long as it works and as he says, it keeps him sane).
I have to hang my hat on the premise that as a good person with the right upbringing, morals and values, he will let the second force ultimately take over.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
