I totally understand, you are not alone in feeling so out of control. Pain equals change. He has to feel the loss to make the changes. I was with my ex forever also. You have to take one day at a time to get through the fear. I was terrified. I remember shaking in my bed before I went to sleep and when I would arise. It is a living nightmare, but you have to find a way to cope and move on.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
