Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[Nblost]

Starsky, for me, the last 6 months are completely different from the rest of our 12 year marriage. This is the first time H has done anything like this (and I truly believe that because he acted so differently once he was in an A that I knew something was going on). Our marriage had deteriorated and I could have seen myself tempted by an A in the right situation. Our biggest issue was a difference in sexual desire but I think I also need more from H in terms of communication and quality time. We had also stopped being warm and appreciative to each other.

I've actually told my H that I won't be his second choice and he's making me second choice every week that this continues. He says he understands and he'll move out...but he hasn't done that yet. After the holidays, I'll get serious about this not continuing.

I have three daughters who don't know this is going on and love their dad. If he would wake up out of his fog, I'd be willing to work on the marriage to keep our family together. And, we've never been to marital counseling and I have a hard time giving up without trying that.

However, if H continues to waver or he won't do the work...we'll be done. I'm not going to put up with this for very much longer.

I think for me, the other reality is that given the devastation of this...I'm not ready to move on and start dating yet or anything close...so, I feel like I might as well give us a chance and work on myself right now.