Originally Posted By: psalm
but have had no ideas on how to fix them- or maybe no motivation/reason to?!


I found Codependent No More to be very eye opening.

The motivation or reason has to come from you and FOR you.

Meaning don't change as a tactic or trick.

it won't stick.

Finding what you don't like in yourself is first and you have some things up there that might be good things to look at.

For me this was very difficult process. It means digging down below the surface of things.

I found I was afraid to make changes because of the "what ifs" and so I used a lot of denial to keep me in my comfortable place.

Mach gave you a good place to start:

Why did you need to control?

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am