I'll tell you what, 25. I hope you are right about this trip possibly being beneficial for me in some regard. I am sure she'll be asked questions while with her parents (also divorced, BTW). However, and I don't mean this disrespectfully, her mom's head is so far in the clouds she needs FAA clearance to take a walk around the block. She has lived an "interesting" life with equally interesting consequences and I know she in not in my corner in repairing my marriage. In fact, I am sure she is pushing W to "take this journey".
I also hope you are right about memories resurfacing. At the moment, it seems as if she has none whatsoever. But as you said, she is most likely supressing them. Hopefully she can't hold them back forever.
"WTH are you doing leaving the father of son?? He's NOT THAT BAD and you could work on things and isn't SOME of this your own crap??" - do you really think that goes through her head? She has come across as so confident with her decision - almost like she is sprinting to D.
I hear you on the "just listen" front - loud and clear. It just seems that when she comes to me about anything right now it custody related in some regard and that is for sure in search of a solution. Sure, I can listen and empathize - but at the end, she wants some sort of plan.
I'm getting better at being calm with interactions. Of course, I usually have to wait a bit before I respond to anything and see if my reaction hurts or helps - and choose the one that "helps". I'm detaching, but as I mentioned it scares the hell out of me because in my view (myopic as it may be) it pushes her away. However, I trust the people that have been here before me better than I trust myself - so onward I march towards detachment.
Also, the only thing I think I have a scorecard on right now is time with my son. I have a VERY difficult time settling for less than half. Honestly, I think that is the only thing that we have right now that fosters tension and anger between us.
I looked up EE online - I which the workshops were mobile! I am way far away from Philly. I'll look into it, though.
