psalm, There is no proper way to interact w/an mlcer. They take everything out of context and are never happy w/what you say or do. The less contact you have w/him the better. Stop trying to engage him in conversations because he doesn't want to hear them right now. I know you think you need to speak to him, but you need to understand that though he's living in the home, he is mentally gone and doesn't want to take part in family life. So, plan your son's birthday and Christmas events and if he opts to join in, listen to what he has to say.
When the mlcer is in the home, it is very difficult for those living there. You never know what the mlcer will say or do and that's where the eggshells come in to play. The best advice we all can give you is to live your life to the fullest, keep the focus on your children and leave the "alien" alone.
BTW, you will even get blamed for everything, including the weather. It's typical behavior because they do not want to look within and do the hard work of repairing their damaged selves. It's easier to run away and blame others for their issues. This is where you need to listen and take what really applies to you and your situation and begin working on them, if it's applicable. If his statements are truly warped, toss them out. You are the only one that can determine if your relationship is "live" or "memorex".
Please do not expect him to be the man he once was...that man is gone and right now, you have a 15 year old in the home that is rebelling strongly. Leave him be....go on w/your life and do what is necessary to keep your family together. Pay close attention to your finances and any unexpected bills that come in w/your name on them. You do not want to be caught paying for his bills.
Keep the focus on you and your children. That is what is important right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
