GAL man, Oh yes...... I hear ya. This is the most frustrating and infuriating behavior with an MLCer. All rationality seems to fly out the window and is replaced with nothing but sheer selfishness. Then a glimmer of rationality and sanity shows up only to fly out the window again with spewing, head spinning, and re writing of history.
Yes, I've been demonized by my stbx. He secretly got a large inheritence, saved it and used it to leave, after I had used mine to get our bills caught up and out of the red financially. Furnished himself two new apartments (now one is with OW) purchased the HD TV, X box, new computers for the kids (2), shopping trips, movies, school clothes for the kids, nice b day party for my daughter, expensive b day gifts, brand new camping exquipment for camping, overnights in another town for big shopping.... etc. Yet according to him he will need to get a second or 3rd job and go to the food bank in order to just survive! Well at this rate, he just might have to!
Yes the years of unhappiness really varies doesn't it? Mine went from 6 years, down to 2 - 3 years, then back up to 15. Then it went from we chose to get married down to me insisting we get married because I didn't like the idea my grandparents thought we were living in sin..... LOL, now that one was hilarious.
If you allow yourself to dwell on it too much, as I did for a while, you will feel as crazy as they're acting, and will question your own sanity and if you're having your own MLC! However I think if you're questioning your own sanity, that's a sign you are sane!
Just breathe. Remember she made these choices and there are consequences to her actions. MLCers just don't seem to "get" that. Remember their mental and emotional age is a young child that's strong willed and wants their way. When a consequence arises that they don't like ( and they don't like anything) they're going to point the finger at you and make it your fault, just as a child would.
My advice is do your best to see this for what it is and the big picture, and only react accordingly. If you over react, hey you're human!but you can always get back on track. I've reacted in ways I wish I hadn't but I also know that given my own emotions and circumstance, it was only normal for me to act that way. And i forgive myself!
