Time to move forward

[GAL Man]

Thanks all for your comments

I decided to take some time away again to think.......

I emailed W after her text, asking what she would like to discuss, but no reply..........more games

I received another solicitor's letter from her the same day, stating she could not go through with the D as she has no money, and had tried to sell jewellery to cover it, but was not offered enough. In the same letter she basically invited me to file (and pick up all the costs), then her solicitor finished the letter with "we are concerned over the financial position of our client and have strongly advised her to consider returning to the matrimonial home"

W has mentioned this, about returning due to having no money for the last 3 months, WTH

W opened communications to me on Friday last week regarding the kids. I replied "professionally" regarding the matters at hand, even though she still had a dig regarding me being the main carer.....

W went on that I didn't communicate with her, or even she her face to face, so I clearly stated that I had made a decision that if her communications were blame projecting, anger, lies or demands I would not respond, but would always communicate over any matter if her coms were nice and non-demanding. And that all this did was push the kids away. W replied quoting what I had said, then stated that she no longer wanted to do that, so admitted she was doing it.

I have a long meeting with my solicitor over all this and about me filing for D. However I decided in the end, as I have spent £3k so far on nothing but stupid stuff from W's solicitors, that

1 - I am not going to file the D and give her what she thinks she wants
2 - I am not going to pay for the D she wants
3 - I have removed the financial settlement offer made in October from the table
4 - Stated that as I and the children live in the house, it is not in the interest of the kids for W to just move back, just because she has no money

I will review the position in the new year.

I also need to decide if I request child maintenance from W. My solicitor has stated I should, as have friends. January will be 5 months the kids have been with me full-time (10 out of 14 days) and I am paying all the house bills (including her half of the mortgage and endowment policy) as I always have, but also supplying the kids dinner money and pocket money, plus the cost of clothes and food.

I always stated I wouldn't as I am on a higher salary, but this should have no bearing as W has an legal duty to financially support them. I also put a boundary down stating that if W wanted more money then I would have no choice but to process a claim, and W has refused my settlement offer (very fair) even after agreeing it 5 times via email!

Some of you will also recall that W actually filed a CSA child maintenance claim against me in late September!!!!!

I would like to try and sort this out locally if I decide to go this route, and not directly through the CSA which will be an official demand from the government straight to her without notice.