PEI - I think you are so right about the differences. Look at a playground full of kids - who in their right mind would want all of them to be the same? Some are outgoing, some not, some more courageoous, others naturally timid, and as long as each of them grows and develops, the differences are what makes life so wonderful.
What is right for you, is not right for everyone, as you recognise. Sometimes we see someone stuck, and wallowing [although I don't think much of it goes on here, really] But the wallower has to see that they need to stop. People heal at different rates, and in different ways.
I realise now that as I have healed from this trauma, I have also healed from a series of earlier traumas that I never allowed myself to feel or experience. So there is a greater peace. The length of time it has taken me has been really exasperating, but as I emerge, finally [though with backslides], I can see that I was dealing with a lot more than my h's MLC. In a weird way what happened enabled me to address other hurts and damage. At teh time people thought it was 'wonderful' how I dealt with family tragedy. No, it wasn't, it was weird. Grieving is what people do after loss, and they need to be able, and enabled to do this, otherwise it gets bottled up in ways that can be downright destructive.
