IB never underestimate the extent of the trauma that each one of us here has experienced. it stays with us a long time. In healing, I have come to see we heal from other hurts too, those from way back, so that when we do emerge - finally! we are really changed.
One question, and it isn't a criticism, but why are you interacting with your h's family? Do you really need to, or simply think you do? now is the time to examine all our our shibboleths and beliefs that may no longer be very helpful.
