I agree with most of the thoughts here ... I would like to add that I think one of the benefits to belonging to a community like this, where we get to know each other's personalities and situations is that we do hold each other accountable for that healing. There is a very large difference between taking time to heal and wallowing. And I am NOT saying any of you are wallowing, I'm just making a point
It can be easy to slip back into feeling sorry for ourselves, it can be easy to make excuses ... at least it was for me. I found having this community holding me accountable for my OWN desired healing helped tremendously.
I can see the analogy Antonia. And I still think everyone is different. My personal perspective is much different, I was a victim of rape twice, once by a boyfriend who wouldn't take no as an answer and once by an acquaintence who roofied me in a bar. Neither were physically violent traumatic events but both made a lasting imprint on my views, attitudes, beliefs and desires when it came to sex.
My divorce has left emotional scars ... it was supposed to IMO. That what we get when wounds heal. We're left with reminders of the learning, the strength, the power to persevere ...
I intentionally run head first into challenges and push myself. I don't shy away from confrontation, including with myself. It's part of who I am ... a very natural part of my personality. Even my IC commented on how I approached my healing.
That being said, I don't judge others for handling it their way on their timeline ... I will challenge each and every one of you to continue to push yourselves ... to want more ... to never settle for less from anyone in your lives, including yourselves.
I'm really very honoured to belong to such a community
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
