So it is appropriate that I am now starting a new thread because I am hoping to turn over a new leaf too. I am oddly calm and peaceful this morning, which I am thankful for after the craziness of last night.
I just signed up for a 5K that falls right before my 40th birthday this summer. I posted it on my facebook page and 2 friends that I have known since high school offered to join me since we are all turning 40 around the same time. One is a serious runner and the other is a personal trainer. The PT has offered to help me get ready for this since I am still new to running. I am really excited for this!!
I also just found out from the runner friend that there is a local club that runs together a few times a week, you can pick and choose which ones you want to do. I may just look into joining this when I feel strong enough as a runner.
Something very good to look forward to over the next 6 months! Maybe my kids will run with me,I know that S17 probably will.
I'm glad you feel peace this am. And, I'm glad you're thinking along the lines of what I was offering as advice.
Remember, your H does not make all of the decisions in the marriage. You do, too. He may be unhappy, and/or have periods of unhappiness, but so do you. The difference is... You're just not stewing over it silently, then lashing out, and/or dropping bombs. You're actively trying to turn this around.
Let him feel a little bit of what he's dishing out. Let him know YOU are considering what to do, as it 'ain't' workin' as is!
If he's truly being faithful... There's a really good chance that seeing you turn the tables on him will make him appreciate what it is he is considering...
And, the 5K sounds awesome!!! Nice to have a PT to get you ready! You will not believe how much stronger you feel after running. It's amazing. Really good, clean, think time, too!
Me? Well, I have an exciting day... I work from home, so, I'm doing that... but, I'm so lucky to be getting new tires, an oil change, AND an alignment! YAY! YUCK! Merry Christmas to me!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Thanks mindfull! I know you enjoy running too, can't wait to share the results with you. It turns out it is 5 miles and not a 5k, so I have some training to do but I can do this!!
Oh yuck, sorry about your excitement Oil change and tires sounds like some real fun LOL but necessary. Maybe you can take yourself to lunch while you wait for the car?
I don't believe in coincidences, check out what just appeared in my inbox:
Benefits of Letting Go Gemini Daily Horoscope
You may feel disillusioned and struggle with feelings of disappointment today. You may have recently experienced a letdown or come up against obstacles that seem too formidable to overcome, which could have you feeling frustrated about your inability to move forward. Rather than continue to struggle against situations you may not be able to control, you might find it freeing to simply let go of your attachment to a specific outcome today. If you release your fears, frustrations, and worries to the universe and affirm that you will allow events to unfold how and when the universe chooses to orchestrate them, you may even see your obstacles dissolving before your eyes.
When we let go of trying to control every detail of events in our lives, we allow the universe room to create even more beneficial outcomes than we could have orchestrated on our own. It can be difficult not to feel disappointed when things don't work out like we hoped, but we can benefit by remembering that the universe often has an even better plan for our lives. If we can simply let go of the outcome and trust that things will work out to their highest potential, we don't feel the need to control every little detail ourselves. This allows us to feel more relaxed about our goals, and it also creates an opening for the universe to work its magic in our lives. By trusting that a bigger plan for your life is in the works today, you can enjoy the true benefits of letting go.
Eeek! FIVE MILES! Keep my number on speed dial if you need rescuing!!! I'll grab ya, and take you for cocktails instead!
Nice horoscope.
I'm on another forum now, but... one of the prior DB members posted a really informative few nuggets of advice. I need to see if it's okay to post it here...
You'd love it.
Back in a flash!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
It is our demeanor, and day-to-day attitude, moreso than our words or even our actions (if they're transparent and seen to merely be "tactics"), that say "I've moved on."
At least that's been my observation. These forums are filled with all kinds of great betrayed spouses' SPEECHES, who are then perplexed as to why their cheating spouses aren't taking their grand pronouncements seriously. It's because a wayward spouse can SMELL the fear, and they know when you're still there for them, hopelessly attached, and when you've truly moved on.
For some, that comes when you date.
For others, that comes when you serve them with divorce papers, or even just propose a formal separation.
For others, even those things don't work, if they can tell that you REALLY don't mean it.[/quote]
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
That is fantastic!! It makes perfect sense yet I needed to see it in type. I definitely agree that demeanor is huge, and just like on the other side it is actions and not just words. Thank you for sharing that!!
I've really been trying to see it for what it is, but a piece of me was still holding out for his miraculous wake up. I don't know why that would happen, and it won't happen. There is no reason for it to happen.
I've always been a peacemaker, and especially for my kids, I really want things to be nice and pretty (codependent)
That is obviously not healthy for any of us, I can see that.
My 180 for today is reminding myself repeatedly that I am worth it, I deserve happiness (whether with my H or not) and we are only given one life and I need to LIVE it.
I've been so worried about walking on eggshells and making sure not to upset him, that I am exhausted. The reality is, I can't control his reaction, and if I don't hear his temper tantrums, I won't have to diffuse them
I have GAL activities planned for the next 3 days, and looking forward to them.
So my first goal for myself is to create a list of the things that H has complained about in me, the things that I may or may not have contributed to the situation we are in now.
I will determine which I feel are true in order to begin working on them for me, in order to become a better person.
At the same time I will determine which are just blame and rewriting history, and will dismiss them
It may take some time, and I'm sure it won't be easy but it is a good starting point
Thankfully the boys have practice tonight so I should have the house to myself for a while tonight, perfect timing.
I plan to pour a glass of wine, sit by the fireplace and just get it all on paper (to be kept private obviously)
since we are all turning 40 around the same time. One is a serious runner and the other is a personal trainer. The PT has offered to help me get ready for this since I am still new to running. I am really excited for this!!