Rick, I've found that GAL helps with this. For me some of this feeling was jealousy. Here I am at home, sad, depressed, and miserable and there she is partying like a rock star, having the time of her life.
Now I have my own fun times that don't involve her. And, at least for my w, much of her fun is alcohol induced and I know later she feels regret and worry over her need to have alcohol involved all the time.
Lastly I try to see things from her eyes. She is under incredible stress. Ys, self-induced, but that's not how she sees it, right? So I understand that she needs to go have fun and blow off steam and unwind. And since I'm a big source of her stress (again, according to her worldview) then doing things with me certainly won't undo the stress.
I couldn't help but laugh at your "partying like a rock star" analogy. Yeah, same here. My W really has been chugging the beer since the bomb dropped. That is one of her issues she has to deal with and hopefully that is part of her psychiatric sessions. She is definitely burying pain that way. She goes from zero to 100 MPH instantly fueled by beer. I don't know how she handles it physically as she is a teeny girl. Thankfully she is going back to her yoga regime this Friday and I am praying that she will replace the beer with this activity, but I don't know. She has unleashed the demons as she works her way through her psychiatric sessions and she tries to layer over it socially.
I'm starting to see this the way you do, through her eyes. It's an "eye" opener. Frankly, sometimes I worry if she will survive this - the issues, stress, etc. For a while she was talking suicide but I havent heard that for a while.
I'm DB'ing, suffering, growing, loving, praying, and GAL all at once. Thanks for your help. You're a hell of a guy to respond.
