TIMES THAT TRY MENS SOULS

[workinghardguy]

Gunny... I wrestle with it too. I've taken a middle of the road approach I guess. I don't whimper or plead anymore, but when we do talk about the d I am honest about my feelings. Just last week we had a d convo. I became a little choked up and w said she knows this hurts. But I didn't want her to think it was losing her that was causing the pain, because it really wasn't and I didn't want her to think I was trying to make her feel guilty. So I simply told her that the emotion was coming from knowing how this will hurt the kids and from feelings of rejection which are perfectly normal and I'm not wrong for having them.

I don't go down the road about why, or how I don't want this... She knows that already, why go over it again? But I also let her lead. I don't bring up the d issues, I let her do it. I am open and business like when we discuss it.

Now... If your w was to ask how you are doing I think you're free to tell her. Again though it's not pleading or guilting... Just how are you doing? You're sad and working through it. You're confused and working on answers. Hopefully the answers are consistent with someone who is processing a tragedy and moving on to the next phase in his life, because that's what you should be doing. That phase may be self-improvement while waiting to see if your w will recon, but it's still moving on. Or that phase may be swearing woman off for the next x years. Or it may be working to find a new partner... Whatever it is, it's your phase and you're moving towards it.