DBing against OW...?????

[Abbey]

I wish I could say it just slides back into normal easily. It doesn't. I think we become an accumulation of our experiences. This thing we're "in" changes us. It's left lines on my face that weren't there before. It's like I have this strange frown on my face that was never there before.

Part of our change also comes from realizing what our mistakes were, we'll own them. The WAS, ... maybe not so much. At least not at first.

It's easy too, to say, don't replay the hurts they inflict on us in our heads. BUT... we do. One of mine for example,... was me "chasing" pre-DB and touching his hand in a way that we had done for some 20 year before. His comment: That does nothing for me. Even now, I haven't been able to touch him like that. That comment is stuck in my head.

It was in the last 2 or 3 days, has he begun to touch my hand in that manner. (it's a tickle, touch thing.) I actually felt myself pull my hand away, in fear.

Your H's comment is and was a space in time. It doesn't define you, nor should it. But to shake it, that's a whole other thing completely. *hugs*

Funny thing is, the comment your husband said,... was to convince himself, not you. It will be a rather big smack, for him to realize that you can be with someone else. Can attract someone healthy and not hurtful.

Abbey