Does anyone do "Angel" trees where you pick an angel or two off the tree and then shop a little for that person whose angel you picked? I found that to be a satisfactory way to fit in something good with a busy schedule!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Now, you're stealing my old ringtones! LoL I had that for awhile...
So. I've been reading along, and, like I've said before, so much of this rings true, and your experiences/moods/thinking mirror my history.
Have you thought about something...? How long are you going to endure this? I'm not asking from a place of wanting you to give up... I'm asking from a place of wondering how long you're willing to endure this fight.
Also, are you two physically intimate still?
You think a lot like I do. I can tell that you are a professional Mom.
My S14 just had a bball tournament that started over the weekend, then ended last night. We took it all!!! Wahoo! It was the first time having the boyfriend and xH in the same place. All went fine!
Just checking in...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
So tonight we went out with mutual friends who wanted my professional opinion on business and he accused me of flirting with the guy, said he was my friend and you were all over him. I so was not! I did a friendly tap on the leg but nothing odd! Wtf ??
I wish I had read that sooner Mr. Bond. I had a bit of a backslide and I regret it, which is probably why I am not sleeping right now. I talked to him about it and he said "flirting is one thing but not admitting it is another" and I said "well if it came off as that, it was never my intention. I am just a touchy person with everyone (which is true). My intention was not to flirt with him at all. I have wanted our M and only our M."
He was very angry and I then said "you have women friends of ours who text you and talk to you on the phone too, I don't say anything about R and J." He said "i don't flirt with them in front of you.
So here is where I really blew it, one of the women I mentioned lives on the other coast and they had a business conference that they all went to a few months ago. I mentioned that he went there and I trusted him and he then proceeds to tell me 'and we have another one coming up in February'
That could be to make me worry, wonder or get back at me OR there is reason to worry, wonder.
I have seen zero proof of OW this time around. It could mean that he is just better at hiding it now or there really is no OW I don't want to dwell on that and borrow trouble, but I don't want to be an idiot either.
So when he brought it back to me and flirting he said "you are a beautiful woman, you have no idea what these men are like. I don't trust this guy, I thought I did but I don't think I do anymore" (this was someone he was friends with through business and he actually introduced me to him)
It's a double standard, it was ok for women to text him, he even goes to lunch with all women at work. But one guy texts me and it is WW111
I really need some advice here. I am sleepless and at a loss. I just don't want to make it worse.
After reading this myself, I realize that I can only own my own actions and I am not responsible for his. He needs to be responsible for his. He is deflecting, projecting, whatever he is doing and I can't fall into that with him.
Sorry I didn't answer your question mindfull, I don't know how long because it seems to change daily. There are days that I wonder if I can keep this up at all because I don't even recognize this man. And then I see him for short windows and it makes me hopeful and want to stick it out and DB for a new M.
"You know, H, after the roller coaster of the last few weeks w/you, I would tend to agree. I'm just not sure this marriage is salvageable anymore. I'd like to get through the holidays in peace, but after that we need to have a hard discussion regarding allowing space for one another to think."
"H, I can't make your roller coaster OUR roller coaster. I'm beginning to agree w/you regarding not knowing what the future of our marriage should be. I'd appreciate some space to be able to figure this out in my head/heart. Let's get through the holidays, as a family, and then sit down and understand together what our next steps are in healing us, or giving each other more space."
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
It's as if you were with me in the kitchen just now. I am here alone and getting ready for work, and said out loud to myself. I just need to get through the holidays and try to make sure the kids are ok (well me too).
I am oddly calm and actually feel some peace this morning. I guess that is a good thing.
