Him grabbing my phone still bugs me a bit, but I don't want to read into things. I think that I would be able to get him to give me all of his passwords if I asked again, but I really prefer to address it in therapy. Everything that he has done so far has been on his own terms. On one hand, I don't want to be naive - there may still want to be things that he is hiding. At the same time, we both respected each other's privacy until I learned that he cheated. Since then, its been non-stop snooping, prying, sneaking and lying. At this point, I'd be happy just to see the bill each month. I really don't need to see what he and his macho-man friends text to one another (think chain letter type text filled with boobs and beer and the like).
As for relearning responsibility and getting rid of his bad behaviors - well, he says that he's happy and appreciates what he has at home. Words are great, but his actions have matched everything he says. I'm kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I don't think about it much because I don't want to send off any bad energies.
We are both being so positive towards each other, with no real effort, that I'm beginning to get scared. My changes took weeks and even months to become permanent, so I am trying to be patient - and less cynical. I'm impressed with the fact that H has been so stable even though he is very nervous about being laid off.
Yesterday he asked if I wanted to go to the movies this weekend and we now have another babysitter. I'm continuing to bust my tail at home trying to save a little extra money in preparation for some lean times. I kind of want to put a marker on this post and see if things are similar in a month, then six months, then a year out from now. I'm hoping that they will be.
Originally Posted By: verycrazy
Wow, it sounds like he is really thinking about things a lot. He is really opening up to you. It's interesting his wanting to know who you are texting, and grabbing your phone, instead of letting you just tell him, like you might be untruthful about it.
I guess what I meant by "bad behavior" is how some men have learned how to behave in situations dealing with relationships with women based on the behaviors they have modeled to them as boys growing up with those same types of men as role models. But, I do agree with you, he does need to take responsibility for his own actions. And it sounds like he may be on that track.
