As for me, I think I understand what you are saying. I have in my life opted for the settling for what I have for the moment, but continuing to mover forward with my GAL and self improvement.
As an older man with adult sons and a wife of 40+ yesrs of marriage, I want to savor what I have for a change, even if it could be more, as life can be much shorter than we expect. Perhaps that is also a reason not to settle.
I feel that in the future (while neither of us has any health problems now) we will face real challenges and that will give us opportunities to have some crisis bring us closer together. My hope is that we can continue to evolve together. I know that I intend to continue to evolve and become a better person.
You definately have a choice of dropping the changes you want to push for or driving things to a crisis. I do think that there may be a third alternative and that is to take a short breather, but promise to continue your improvement so that you continue to build a better marriage. Once you are achieving change, the idea of taking a breather may sound like stopping and just learning to cope with no further progress.
I feel that there can be a commitment to a better future, even if one takes a breather. Good luck to you and congratulations on all that you have achieved.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
