My new job is going very well. It really has been a life changing thing for me not to have to worry all the time where my next paycheck is coming from.
It has enabled me to focus on the important things in my life and set some new goals.
W and I have agreed to an uncontested D and I filed those papers two weeks ago.
We are supposed to talk about her executing those today. Who knows if she'll follow through but at this point since the papers are filed she doesn't have a choice.
She still has a lot of crazy in her backpack.
It is with a sense of empathy that I leave her to her choices and also sadness to watch someone you love who desires to be better, invested in a better life and a marriage
...and can't.
I have learned and know this:
Never again will I make excuses for someone who is not commiting to a relationship. Never again will accept someone investing less than I am investing myself. Never again will I accept someone in my life who is not evenly yoked to me.
If I do I will create something less than I value in myself.
And as I stand here today that ground has has been hard faught, and the price too dear, to place it in the hands of someone who does not value it as I do.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
TG I thought this post was really inspirational in that you really are claiming your right to be treated with love and compassion and value and not "making excuses", as you said, for someone else not putting into a relationship the same effort and feeling that you do. That's a powerful statement and I'm glad to see you doing well and being so assertive about this for yourself.
What strikes me most is that you have so much dignity. I think a lot of us lose our sense of dignity over what happens with the way our marriages end, but you've definitely got your dignity back if you had lost it for a time, and perhaps it's stronger in you than it ever was.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
True, I know how hard this has all been for you. You have walked this journey with dignity, honor and strength.
You are a special man with a huge heart and a deep sense of committment.
I know that although you were ready, it was difficult to file those papers.
I also know how hard it is to watch someone you once loved so deeply be in such pain.
And now I wish for you peace in knowing that you did all you could. You stayed true to yourself. You honored your marraige in the way that you stood.
May your life be blessed with good things. May you continue on your journey-. I know you are forever changed. You deserve to have someone invested in you. May you one day find that.
I am honored to have been able to walk some of this with you.
