Asking for Help / Advice Please

[workinghardguy]

Ed... just one piece of advice, granted I've only been at this for three months now, but you're going to drive yourself nuts with the screening of each things for good news/bad news. I know, because I've been there. I remember scrutinizing each text message, phone call, email, conversation, interaction, etc... for the slightest bit of good news or bad news. When I saw a flash of light I went way up, and when she was cold or harsh I went way down.

That's no way to live life.

You will see this from her, not because she is changing her mind back and forth. Rather she has made her decision, which is to leave the relationship, and at times she is confused about that. She is sad and then she is happy. And when she's happy sometimes she has guilt about being happy. When she's sad she gets guilty about that. Sometimes she gets mad at you for causing all this pain and grief. Sometimes she gets mad at herself for causing it all.

Have you ever seen those plasma balls? The ones where in the center is a ball of plasma, and when you touch the plastic globe it sends out an arc of energy to meet your touch? That's your wife.

She is the plasma ball in the middle... a bundle of uncontrolled energy and discord. She randomly throws out arcs of energy all over the place. When you touch the ball (i.e. try to connect with her) she sends an arc of energy your way. Sometimes it's good energy and other times it's not.

You will drive yourself mad trying to figure out which. Detach and start to live your life, and live it without her. Things start to get a lot better when your emotional state is not tied to her's.