Actually, the heck with party affiliations. Party's are for fun, not politics. (or something like that).
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My instinct is really telling me that I need to just be myself which is a single woman who doesn't care that she is single, but I need to communicate better to people around me that this is a choice and it's not a "second best" sort of lifestyle.
Such a great start there. The trick is to not care what other people think about your choices. They don't have to live your life. They don't have to live your consequences for your choices. They can armchair quarterback all day long.
The least of your concerns is men at this point, my dear. You *could* have a guy any time you like I'm sure. But just any guy won't do, I'm sure. That means there are still some things you need to work on with you that you need to do alone or with friends. Be patient. You were married for 23 years. That takes time to work through and process. To adapt and change completely. You are very far along. You are. But there is more. For us all, no?
Be patient and be friendly. I personally think being friends first and lovers second is the best way to go. In fact, I don't do it the other way around. Never did and don't plan on starting.
Believe me when I tell you, men and women are very similar in what they want. Somewhere there is a guy thinking the same thoughts you are. Or maybe more than that.
Will you get set in your ways? Maybe. Will that matter? Nope. Not for the right guy. Have faith that he'll be there and meanwhile be the best you that you can be. I think you'll find that all that time spent worrying about it got in your way and that your efforts to decide what you wanted didn't help much. Deciding what you won't put up with is a different story. The other way won't leave you very open though...
Oh, and make those friends. They ahve friends. Their friends have friends etc. 4.5 degrees of Kevin Bacon or something like that.
Live, Antonia. Be still when you need to. Let the rest fall into place vs. forcing things. Be at peace and really, great things will happen.
Last thought? My ex was scared to death of being alone. She gets it from her father who's only comment about her leaving was regarding her being alone. Being alone is wonderful thing if you let. Being alone and being positive has a funny way of attracting others too
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
