Has anyone ever recovered from a sitch this bad?

[gonnawinherback]

Thanks for the interst, Accuray. Here are the answers to ur questions.

1) I was the pursuer. No question.

2) we had several issues. Communication was a constant problem - I can talk stuff to death, and she hates to discuss issues or feelings. Both physical and emotional inimacy were lacking, there were trust issues, and there was the lingering effects of the EA I've just recently acknowledged. Our D2 was an infant and the pressures of life were wearing on us and we lacked the skills to pull ourselves out of it. W just didn't want to work on M, too busy with life.

3) sex was both infrequent and often unsatisfactory. She was the one less interested in sex.

4) I was angry that W wouldn't engage me in what I thought were constructive conversations about issues we faced as a couple. When angry I would sometimes raise my voice, or criticize her unwillingness to engage. I frequently insinuated that there was something wrong with her approach to life and if she would only do things my way our problems would go away, or at least improve. I was also angry about the lack of physical and emotional intimacy in our marriage and blamed her for those deficiencies. W's response was to shut down. She would often hear my complaints in silence and simply never respond. It was weird.

5) I have no idea. W may have had more contact with incomp C, may have been discussions I was unaware of. C was in 70's and thrice divorced. Not a DB poster child.

6) I always considered that relationship 2 b an innocent friendship, but w/in last few weeks I understand that I used OW to replace the emotional intimacy missing from my M. Started when W was pregnant w/D2. W became jealous, questioned me about PA, never really believed there wasn't a PA. This was where the trust issues really erupted. OW's H was unconcerned at time - we all considered it a friendship between all 3 of us. I eventually partially disengaged from the couple in deference to W, but never acknowledged wrongdoing until very recently. Stayed friendly with other couple on a reduced level. After separation, W went to OW and said something to poison my relationship with them. We no longer talk.

7) I'm honestly not sure what I did. Maybe because I backed off for a while. No idea why she did that.

I'll think more about your other questions.