Curve balls? Heck, I don't even play softball!!!

[In_Shock]

WHG said: "I do ok until I think about my W dating some other guy, some other getting the passionate hugs and caring touches and kisses I used to get. Then I don't do so well. But I know I have to get to a point where I have my own path and it doesn't involve or need her."

I totally know what you mean. If W was leaving/decided to 'find herself' etc... that is one thing. I was ok until I found out that within a couple of weeks from the bomb, she was connecting with someone else, and it got physical within a few weeks...THEN i began to really feel it. I thought at first, well, this will be ok. W will work on herself. I will work on myself. We'll come through this. Turns out her working on herself was just a big old excuse to pursue this OW she'd been having EA with....

Can I do the Jedi mind trick thing? I'm trying. I have good days and bad days. It seems that when something new comes up -- like she goes somewhere with OW and blatantly wears the sweatshirt the next day, or gets a mailer from a jewelry store as a preferred customer, or blah blah blah...it's a constant reminder that I don't matter to her anymore and I need to definitely find my own path. I'm getting there.

Last night we were talking about practical things like S, his xmas play, money things, etc... W told me she is ambivalent about me -- but when pushed to think about it, says she just doesn't 'like' me and doesn't even want to be friends . Hmmm... 13 years and I'm tossed aside like some garbage. I validated. I listened. I agreed that -- yes, I know, I understand why you feel that way.

BUT I DON'T really for some of it. The ANGER - the dislike--- I'm being left. I'm ANGRY, SAD, HURT and losing my family with no choice. And SHE's angry/doesn't like me, etc..... WTH??

Just rambling myself. Got to go to class right now. Thought I'd check in for a minute. Feeling ok i guess....I keep thinking of the old, was it Ramones? song --- I wanna be sedated....!!! Until perhaps next June or July????