Ya know, NLW I am in NO position whatsoever to give anyone any advice, but I will caution you in this regard - don't go too far down the rabbit hole of trying to diagnose your spouse. I became obsessed with understanding hormonal deficiencies (progesterone especially), premenstrual dysphoric disorder, thyroid conditions and how all of these things tied to depression and marriage. Do I think I was right about some of it? Yes, I am almost certain. Did it get me anywhere? Nope. In fact she was rather mad when she found out I set up am obgyn appointment (secretly) for her to look into some of these things.
I think the direct quote was "Doctor wants you to know I am fine. I don't know what it will take for you to accept this divorce isn't about me being imbalanced or unfaithful, but the sooner you do the better." Nice text to receive at work.
Just be careful. There is no magic trick to get a spouse to see they have a problem and "come back". If there is I have yet to find it. I eventually quit researching all of it and accepted the fact that if she is suffering from something she will have to figure it out on her own and relate it to the relationship. That is a hard thing for a person's pride to endure, but I seem to hope for that miracle a lot.
