also, while I'm thinking of it--- is it 'script' for WAS to be nastier and more distant the nicer you are to them??? That's what seems to happen here a lot. I always try to remain kind, generous, caring....she seems to resent it.
I have that fear that so many others have expressed about detaching and having W and I just continue to grow apart and go our separate paths permanently. I know...it's counterintuitive but it works.....but does anyone have ANY tips for helping with this detachment thing while living with WAS??
I want us to start over. I want a NEW R with W. I know this is the only chance we have. But how to do it? I still do her laundry for example. I still buy all the groceries --even the things that are just for her (she pays some bills, I pay some, I buy groceries/toiletries,etc..) Some of my 180s are doing more around the house -- but really? Her laundry?? After she's been out with OW??? Seriously, do you think that should be a boundary???
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
