Hi Crimson, Just wanted to say I'm following your thread and I SO know what you're going through.
I'm relatively new to this too, so I don't have much in the way of advice - I have practically the same questions/fears as you.
It has helped me to think that my H is actually unable to control how he is feeling. I believe it's something to do with a mood disorder condition similar to bipolar depression.
I may be wrong, but it certainly helps me to interpret his behaviour from this perspective. I have to think that he doesn't really want to hurt me and our kids like this, it's just that he can't help it at the moment.
But every day I have to fight the screaming thought that this is not actually happening to me. The only thing that gets me through is the belief that he is actually suffering from something that's like a physical sickness.
