Giving advice that you are FINALLY beginning to follow...
Antonia,
PEI raises a good point about detatchment...
If the pic upset you as much as you did, then you aren't detatched enough.
THAT is the reason for your qualms and feelings about dating and men, IMO.
Another thing that points to that is your feeling about never being involved in a committed R again.
I never did the eharmony thing. I wasn't me. I wasn't a "bar person" either. I honestly wasn't social enough ever in my life to meet many of the people that I have met, men or women, friend, boyfriend, H, or foe...
As I have always been comfortable being alone, and I really and truly enjoy my solitude, when the MLC hit, I really never believed that I would meet someone that I wanted to be with again. For no reason other than I didn't see myself in a situation that would open that door. I didn't look for it, didn't really ponder it more than knowing what I would need if it were to ever happen, and was very comfortable with that idea.
I was very comfortable getting reaquainted with myself. Finding things that I loved, making myself happy. I knew that I didn't need anyone in my life but me in order to be happy. Sure I missed married life, I missed being part of a couple, but to be honest, I was much more comfortable in "couple" settings as a single person, than I ever was when I was with H. I had only one person to worry about and that was me.
And when I was ready, and the time was right, the right person entered my world without any assistance or searching by me...
I think it is time for you to put eharmony behind you for now, get to know yourself better, stop worrying about dating and meeting someone and who likes you and who doesn't, what their ages are, etc...
Work some more on liking and knowing yourself, and detatching from the past...
And see where that leads you...
JMO...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
