DB'ing is soooo hard!

[workinghardguy]

But your w, (and my h) were not trying to humiliate us. They were lost and confused, and yes, self absorbed, but not trying to hurt us. They were trying to resolve issues that sometimes, had little to do with us.

Rick... listen to this^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ in particular.

My W had a screwed up childhood too. Not as screwed up as your W's, but at multiple times she had to take the gun out of her father's mouth as he threatened to commit suicide. That was at the age of 12. I have to imagine that messes with a person. She was kicked out at 15 and homeless for three years. That messes with you too. She rarely saw her mother because when mom came around dad would grab the shotgun and threaten to shoot mom, W, and her sister. That's probably bad for long-term mental health also.

My W has told me the very words 25 is saying. Yes there's other stuff, but down deep this is the issue. And by listening to her and realizing I am powerless to offer any solution I can deal better with this.

I would prefer my W stay in our M and work on her issues, but she says she cannot do that. So then the only other option is to honor her request and let her go do what she needs to do. She will emerge from that a different person. That person may be someone who is attracted to me (I mean... how can she not, really? ) and I may be attracted to her. Or she may never change and then life will go on. Or the new her and the new I might not "click" and life also will go on.

But listen and read closely what 25 says... and then read it again.