Rick - Why yes I can. Man, have I let myself get played. Time to stop and see where this road leads. Really let the divine universe lead the way (with help from you guys). I actually think this is a big life lesson for me. Learn to trust and walk with the divine. I always thought I was in control of all I was involved in. I stopped listening to the divine whisper and lived within my head.
2TP - know how you feel but I think this is the counter intuitive part of DB'ing. You have to accept that your marriage as it was is FINISHED! Once you do, I think it is easier to then go dark and let the chips fall where they may. Look, the reality is that both you and I may never get our wives back. And frankly, do we want them back in their current form? Doubtful! So, what else is there for us to do. The DB'ing books provide remedies and tools that when used properly may help get things on a new track. Notice I didn't say back on track. You don't want things back on the same track but a new track.
Rick - you're so right. I only want a new track and believe that can happen. But of course, I need her to believe in it too.
2TP - I forget if you have young kids, but if you have made visitation arrangements with your W, perhaps your GAL can occur during those times when the kids are not under your watch.
Rick - I still live with my W, and our youngest S13 (of three) is at home. Really she does twist any GAL activity at all into an element of mistrust. It's scary that someone's mind can do that but I suspect a guilty conscious from her A. She has had this problem her entire life (mistrust) and is part of her issues with the psychiatrist.
2TP - The other thing is that you talk about going dark when perhaps all you need to do is go a little dim.
Rick - Maybe. I'll try this and keep the possibility of D at bay for now.
Just asking, but while your W is with the OM, have you ever thought that there may be a better woman for you out there, esp when friends and family suggets it? I'm not saying mentally cheating but just as a concept. Have you had any issues of woman approaching you now that word about your sitch is known?
Also, how do you feel about snooping from a moral and practical point of view? Whatever I have discovered on my own, or has been brought to me as evidence by my sons has been pretty bad. Some people tell me that I should spy away because I should know sooner than later if a PA has or has not occured. On one hand I feel that if I snoop I am cheating what the universe dicates should be, but on the other hand it is so hard not to snoop on her phone conversations. It just angers me so much when I do though. I'm guess I am going with don't snoop. Besdies when I do I picture myself doing it and feel another ball get lopped off each time.
Once again I really appreciate your thoughts and input. It would be nice talk about how this works out well for both us some day
