too much time and distance

[workinghardguy]

But I cannot get over the feeling of abandoning her.

How are you abandoning her? You are giving her what she wants, in essence loving her how she has asked to be love. She wants her freedom then give it to her. She can be the adult and deal with the ramifications that brings.

In the D process you can choose to be more generous that the law requires if that is something you want to do because YOU feel it meets your values. But just propping her up isn't good for you and doesn't force her to face reality.

Abandoning her would've been walking out the door and cutting her off with no notice. Last time I checked, that is very different than going through with the divorce she has asked for.