Did I do the right thing?

[waiting4thedawn]

Thanks Cadet for responding to me....since it was my first post I wasn't sure if anyone would respond or not. You're right. I'll let him take the lead. I have learned that lesson! I haven't heard from him since and I probably won't. I think I'm just now waking up and I'm becoming able to see what really went on in our marriage even though people have tried to tell me for months. I simply wasn't ready to accept hearing things until now.

I guess the big one is that he probably was having an affair. I've had about 3 guy friends tell me that the probability he was having an affair is extraordinarily likely. They simply don't believe he would have left simply to go figure himself out. They feel he was leaving to go TO someone. Since they are guys, they're opinion seems to matter to me because they're telling me what it would take for them to leave a marriage the way my husband did, and they all agree it had to be for someone else. I am just now beginning to process this. In the past, I ignored it because I don't think I was ready to hear it, but now I am. And I believe they're right. That has put a whole new spin on how I feel about trying to work this out.

I always felt that an extra-marital affair was a deal breaker. I guess I have more processing to do now. I honestly don't think I'll ever find someone that fit me as well as he did. We were perfect (or so I thought) in everyway. We were best friends, enjoyed much of the same things and had chemistry. But if that wasn't enough for him, then would I ever be willing to trust him again? I'm just not sure. I do know one thing....The past 8 months have been a walk through Hades, and I know I can't make that trip again. I honestly don't know how I made it out, but I have.

Any words of advice or thoughts on this are greatly appreciated as I keep working through this. Thanks!!!