Forward, slow as she goes

[BeingMe]

Why wouldn't he want out? Job or religious reasons?

WCW: I just don't know. Not religious. Perhaps his job ... he doesn't have time to get a D. Also, I think, for now, he is in control of the finances, and maybe he doesn't want to let go of that. He's not stingy, but I don't think he wants me having my half, plus alimony, and not being able to say what I do with it. BUT, when I was away during the summer (Aug.), he bought a goldwing bike ... just a second-hand one. I discovered the bike (Nov.) in the garage when my S24 opened it to get something . My S24 knew about it, but it wasn't his job to tell me, and he wouldn't have thought to do so, anyway. I phoned my H in China, and asked him about this purchase. "Oh," he said, "I guess I should've told you about that. You were away." So, when he's away, I can just buy myself a nice motorbike or other large purchase on my credit card, and just "forget" to tell him. Hmmmm!

(On a side note - he knows that the money he earns is 'ours' ... when I worked for many years, my salary was pooled together with his, and I never considered it anything other than 'ours'. I gave up a good job to come to this town, where I cannot get a similar job, and he now leaves me for weeks on end, traveling overseas, or across the country. So, I hope he doesn't think that I'm going to just settle for anything less than what is more than fair. So much for a new start. Not long now, and I hope to move back to where I can be with friends and family.)

These are the BIG issues in our M ... lack of communication, and his financial control. Oh, and intimacy. He's never going to change.

Oh well. I'm not angry or holding a grudge. I am, as I said before, more at peace with things. I would like to move and get on with my life. If he, however, tries to cheat me, then he'll be in for one heck of a fight. I don't trust him, so I will be engaging a L, which he doesn't want.

Antonia: Thanks for the encouraging words. I do see my classes as GAL, although it sometimes gets me quite isolated. I very seldom come across someone close to my age at uni. Most of the students are in their 20's, so it's difficult for me to interact in a non-motherly way ... I do try though. I live inside my head these days. Ha!