I spent all night with XW..........on the phone

[AntoniaB]

I know what you mean about it hurting to make eye contact. Avoiding it is a form of self-protection.

As much as it seems to hurt them, yes, this was their choice.

I've seen my XH appear to be "hurt" by his choices...and yet, earlier tonight, my XH changed his profile pic on FB to a pic of him and his GF. A pic where even though the lady doesn't really "need" a bra, she kind of is showing FAR too much of that area for a classy woman...

It stung like a SOFB to see that pic. He had had a pic of our cat who died as his profile pic for a month. So did I. I decided to change my pic to a pic of me alone in the last few days. XH chose to change it to a pic of him and OW.

Yeah it hurts...bad. I know I'm better looking by far. That makes me think geez, how can she be NICER than me??? But it's not that. It's that she represents a life I do not. A drastically different life.

These MLCers want a new life. They want to go version 2.0. They find a way to get version 2.0 fast. Then they get there and it's not all it's cracked up to be.

What we have to do is to really work hard at separating ourselves from what they have done/do. Honestly I think the best hope we have is to process what has happened as them dying.

Yes, it's THAT severe.

They died, and as a result, we have to move on with our lives as if we are widowed.