IB I appreciate that you said that...it means a lot to me that you would say something so kind :-)
Guess what jumped out at me like crazy on your post above? The part where you said "wonderful children who seem to want me in their lives". OMG IB. Do you realize that that statement sounds like a low self-esteem statement, almost like you're grateful that they actually WANT you to be part of their lives? Well OF COURSE they do!!! You are such an amazing person. I think everyone else knows it (and don't even say well your XH doesn't because he's blind right now....but everyone who isn't blind knows it) but I think YOU don't.
You remind me of me so much. I had dinner with the mother of one of my girlfriends a few months ago. Basically my friend's mom went through a divorce last year when she found out her ex was cheating on her with his secretary for 6 years. This was her second marriage, and I think she's VERY resilient and independent, but we got together to talk about how we could help each other out as recent divorcees. Well at some point she pointed out to me how much I had a tendency to downplay myself, my accomplishments, everything about me. She said to me "Antonia, I am not a woman to blow smoke up anyone's a*s, so you know I'm being straight with you when I say that you are beyond amazing and you have done more than any woman I've ever met at your age, and you have every reason to hold YOUR head high, because your XH is a crazy man and he wasn't good enough for you."
Guess what IB? I'm saying the same thing to you.
Your kids want you in their lives because you are so wonderful. Please try to tell yourself every day that you are worthy and deserving of every single bit of love and respect that comes your way (and even MORE than what has come to you so far).
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
