"think before you speak, and not come off desperate."
In July there is no way I could speak without being desperate, but sometimes now I am able to. Its so hard to stay positive and strong day in and day out.
I definitely need a DB coach session. It was a long weekend with the girls. When my D3 cried for Daddy I was ready to shout, "Dont you get it he left us!" But instead I said "Daddy loves you baby, you will see him soon" I need to recharge
GWHB starting your own thread is a great idea. I trolled for a while and writing my story and getting feedback has been such a healing component for me. I highly recommend. Your words meant so much to me, especially "the drinking and email comment about his pain are not signs of a happy camper. I don't think he's loving the coparent thing. My 2 cents."
Hearing his perspective is hard. But I need to hear it. I need to understand it.
The girls and I had a mostly fun weekend. Hung out in the playground and with neighbors but stuck close to home. But its is not easy being alone with them all weekend. At 3 & 1 they are quite demanding.
We were playing with a girl on the block and she mentioned she was going to another kid's, kenny's, Bday party, my D3 had not been invited to the party. My D3 said "but I know Kenny too!" It made me so sad.
It was one of those instances where normally you might be a little bummed out but for me it kind of snowballed into super sad.
.... Maybe she didnt get invited cause I'm a bad mom, I'm not social enough. Clearly I'm a bad mom cause my H left me, but I must really be bad cause my kid isnt even going to this freaking party. What kind of mom has H that leaves them, I most really be awful...
I got over it (kind of) as did my D3 (she forgot). But I guess every little temper tantrum I think might be because my H is abandoning us.
H has continued to call at bedtime & I have continued to be chill. Fingers crossed.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
