Worked from home today. Not too much going on today, and that's OK with me.
My W picked up my S tonight. It's her night. My S immediately started creating some drama tonight when she showed up. My W seemed a little down tonight, too. I guess prior to her promotion, she had gotten pretty destitute. I can't say I was all positive and upbeat myself when she showed up. I was probably a little cool.
I had Men's group at church tonight. It was an awesome time tonight. We're talking about leadership in trials. I guess I have a little life experience to share. It's just a great group of guys and I'm getting to know them even better.
I was really needing some exercise still tonight. So in the 30 degree temperatures and at 10:30pm, I went out for a 17 mile bike ride. I guess it's one way to see the Christmas lights in the neighborhood.
Another day free of any real drama. That's perfectly fine with me. Very short workday today. I have to break this habit of staying up so late, getting up late, getting to work late, working late, and doing it all over again.
I had to leave work early for a doctor appointment today. I went and upgraded my phone after the doctor appointment. When I was at the phone store my S calls my new phone and told me he was leaving the house because my W was already there to pick him up. So I didn't get to see my S at all today. I didn't see my W at all today, either.
I picked up some take-out Chinese and came home. Tonight I'm going to work a bit more, and I'll probably go out for a 3 mile run.
Friday night, I did make it out there to for my 3 mile run. It was pretty late - I started running after Midnight.
I had my S on Saturday while my W was at work. We got the tree up and we also did some outside lights for the first time in 3 years!
My W called around 4:00. She just talked to my S. She was originally going to pick up my S at 4:30, but now it was going to be more like 6:00. I made the mistake of asking my S why my W was running late. He said he wasn't allowed to say. Ugh! It's not fair to put him in the middle of this. She ended calling later and asked me to meet her at Lowe's by the interstate because she was running late for the parade she was taking my S to. I agreed to do it. She did have a female friend with her who I know, so it was OK. I was a little less than upbeat and positive on the phone with my W, but I was upbeat and positive during the exchange, I was DB'ing her LBS friend. They were both thankful that I saved them about 10 minutes of driving.
Last night I went ahead and took a long bike ride in the neighborhood. I just rode my 8.6 mile course 3 times for a total of about 26 miles.
Today was a very busy day early. I met up with some of the ladies from my Tuesday night group for breakfast. I hung out at my favorite coffee shop for about an hour before church. I got to church early because I'm on the prayer team. It was a pretty good church service today. I got to talk to a lot of people at church. I stopped on the way out of service and talked to some more women from my Tuesday night group. They introduced me to another friend of theirs, who happens to be D'd. She wasn't bad looking either. However, a new relationship is not in my game plan right now, but it does show me there are good women out there. (in addition to the ones on this message board, of course ) I had a meeting after church for the Belize mission trip coming up in February. It's getting closer! It just doesn't seem real right now.
This afternoon, I just watched the rest of the Bengals game and did some mundane things like fold laundry and clean up after the Christmas decorating from yesterday.
My W dropped off my S around 5. She didn't even come in today. It is raining outside. However, I'll have to say it hurt a little , but then part of me was glad because I'm not sure I really wanted to see her today.
I found out from my S that I guess my W is moving next weekend now. This will be 30 minutes away instead of 15 minutes away. To her advantage, she will be living in one of the apartment complexes she will be managing. I'm just hoping she's not going to try to convince my S that he needs to live with her, for her convenience. Honestly, I don't know why she'd want that. It would seem to me it would interfere with her game plan. Besides, her home is definitely the less stable home considering she's changed jobs twice now and she'll be moving for the second time.
JB, Can I ask why you continue to not say anything about your w being late to pick up your son?
I'm sure it's gotta hurt the little guy's feelings.
Maybe that's not a DB thing to say something to her but it seems like you and w are hitting a rocky patch. Your son unfortunately is along for that ride.
I know you will protect him... I've just seen it over and over again and thought I would ask.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
JB Val has some valid questions. We let our WAS walk all over us some times and we should not. My group is gOing to Philly and I would love to go. Rode my bike yesterday and I thought of you. You are a great man. And role model.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
JB wanted to say hi and I'm thinking of you. Been SOOOOOOO busy. The last few weeks of a semester are crazy - but I keep you in my thoughts. What a cold/rainy day here. Hope you were able to get in some fun.
No, you don't ramble. Maybe you are like me somewhat. It's how I think and process. I either talk too much (one of W's complaints!) or I write in a stream of consciousness mode. But then again, i don't see that in your style... Regardless, you definitely are clear and have transitions, etc.... Sometimes I just don't!
Hope your S is doing well with all the new things that are coming at him. I can't believe W would put him in the middle...but WAS seem to do it all the time. Insane. He's lucky to have you as a stable, solid influence. As I've said, he will be a good man because of you --and in spite of WAS mess...
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
Can I ask why you continue to not say anything about your w being late to pick up your son?
Val, that's a fair question. I think it all depends on the particular situation. In some cases, it means I get more time with my S. In some cases, if I have plans - well, too bad. I have laid into her a couple of times, but it's been when she's bringing my S. Actually, it's always been her pattern, and I don't think I'm in the position to cure that bad habit now. Any time my S gets upset about it, you betcha I'm going to bat for him. I won't hesitate! I guess another note is I'm not the most punctual person either, but I'm better than her.
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
Maybe that's not a DB thing to say something to her but it seems like you and w are hitting a rocky patch.
Yeah, you're probably right, Val. Right now I'm in a place of ambivalence, though. I think my W's going to have to hit rock bottom before she's going to change anything. At that point I'll have to decide whether I'm willing to take her back if she gets to the point of wanting to come back.
It's just a great group of guys and I'm getting to know them even better.
I didn't see my W at all today, either. 
She ended calling later and asked me to meet her at Lowe's by the interstate because she was running late for the parade she was taking my S to. I agreed to do it. She did have a female friend with her who I know, so it was OK. I was a little less than upbeat and positive on the phone with my W, but I was upbeat and positive during the exchange, I was DB'ing her LBS friend. They were both thankful that I saved them about 10 minutes of driving.