Are all of the private messages disabled? I am new to this forum and it won't let me send pm's

Accuray, I believe my husband may have had the EA with the exgirlfriend as an 'exit affair' as well. He seems to not be interested in pursuing seeing her and seems to mostly be unloading negative baggage about me onto her.
How did you get to the point of starting to reconcile?

Also, 25years....I thought I tried to ask you something similar somewhere, but I have no idea where it posted...this forum is confusing me, so I am going to save this page on my computer.

My husband left (moved a mile away into bedroom at his mom's...he's 39) and left me and our 4 kids in our home.
He was involved in (still is a little) EA and mainly the issue is he is the only one working and has made no money in a long time and we've used up savings and I think he is freaked out. I started babysitting and selling on Ebay...doing what I can to bring in money, but he still isn't coming back yet and it's been a couple months. Says he wants a divorce but he's talking and acting like he wants to reconcile....UNLESS I ask question or push seeing him...then he backs off.
I think this is a mid life crisis. He moved out the day before his 39th bday (which was the same week his work partner and his wife left for a free trip paid for by their employer...my husband always earned the trip in the past-for our whole family of 6- and I think he feels like a failure for not earning it and us having to sell our dream home we built from scratch. I could care less about the home and vacation...I have said it a million times...I love him and want HIM not stuff. UGH
PLEASE tell me your stories of reconciliation and how it seemed right before the reconciliation. I need hope and also to know if I am reading things correctly. Is it possible he could maintain wanting a divorce but act like he is in love and wanting to repair our marriage? I think he felt too devoted/dependent on me. And like I was bossy. I have gotten Individual counseling and worked a LOT on my issues...about a month before he moved out thru now.