I understand what you say about the children and being able to see your XH in them, but that is a two edged sword. At this juncture, the parts of him that I see in them make me sad, and edgy. They are not necessarily the good parts, and when they are, well, crying over spilt milk.
Having said that, you describe yourself as having many cats. I always find cats have very definite personalities. If you don't have one that reminds you of X, perhaps you should look for one. Whether it is a good trait or a not so good one. Are any of your cats from before the bomb?
