25- I just recently stumbled on these boards and don't know your story, but it says 'piecing' ? 7/07 and was wondering what that means. Also your marriage was restored on 8/08...is it in trouble again and how did you get it restored? My husband moved out on Oct 4th. He has been in an EA with exgirlfriend he looked up online since Aug 22nd. She lives 12 hours away and it is all phone/text (but for hours since 8/22) and a LOT since he moved out...I have stopped looking at the phone records b/c it is too painful. I did an attitude 180 and stopped the begging/pleading and we had a great 3 weeks, but he turned it around on Wednesday when I asked if he'd meet me from 9-10:30 and then friday I mentioned us getting together this weekend. I knew better...if I initiate ANYTHING it backfires. He told me friday that he still wants divorce, blah blah blah... His attitude and actions of the last 3 weeks don't really support his words. I think he called the ex in the first place b/c he hasn't made any money (commission-only job that he used to make a LOT at and has made nothing since july). He feels like a failure. He moved out the day before his 39th birthday, which was also the week his partner at work (and wife) left for the 'council trip'...paid for by work, because his partner earned enough money to get the trip. I think the bday and the not getting in council put him over the edge. My gut keeps telling me he is punishing me because over the years if I am REALLY upset, I resort to yelling 'I want a divorce' and he brings that up all the time now. I have gotten IC and I have worked out that problem of mine as well as my tendency to be controlling and micromanage him (out of fear that he'll have an EA with someone...it's happened before and he has always worked through it. Incidentally it happend in the past when we had our 2 yr old daughter, pregnant with our 3rd child, then when our 3rd child was 2, NOW we have a 2 year old again! and AGAIN an EA...this is the first time I have known WHILE it is going on, so he couldn't hide it from me or the kids and he moved out) I am devastated and want this to still work out...pls don't tell me why I shouldn't. I am recognizing that I have directly contributed to his EA...he had stopped all behavior for 8 years (our kids are 16, 13, 10 and 2) and the pregnancy, infant, toddler stage triggers his loneliness and feeling emotionally isolated and I do tend to be 'consumed' with the baby when I have one. I really thought I could handle my hormones and my actions differently this time and I didn't ) how did you managed to 'piece' and restore things?
