Youngster Questions Reality, WAW Moves On...

[westcoastfella]

I know she's unhealthy for me to be around, which is why I've gone so dark on her -- I see no other way to keep myself sane. I see her behavior as being very childish. She wants her things herway, regardless of the needs and wants of others. Now that I'm asserting myself and no longer living to please her, she's just throwing a series of temper tantrums. I hope for her sake that she grows out of it.

I'm still not forever writing off a future with her, but I'm thinking that I could only consider it if she got her own C or T and perhaps if we went to MC, too. She needs help very badly, and so would we if we reconned.

Last night, a girl stopped by my apartment to clean a room in my apartment for free -- she is a Kirby salesgirl. I said why not, there was no pressure to buy and all I had to do was tell somebody else about the great job Kirby does. The girl and I hit it off pretty well, I think she was pretty into me. Eventually she mentioned hanging out with me, and I agreed to it. Just like I told her, why not? I'm tired of spending nights all by myself. I can go hang out with people.

I'm not exactly sure what it will end up being. I sincerely doubt anything serious. Fortunately, she already knows a bit about my messed-up sitch and that I'm getting a D, so at least she knows that I've got baggage. We'll see what happens. We're planning on going to the movies tonight.

Also, this morning, I got a very enthusiastic reply from my W's granny. It read: "Lovely to hear from you. I often think about you and hope you are coping well with the stress this year has brought. I quite feel I have lost a soul-mate!
I wish you the very best and thank you very much indeed for thinking of me. Much love, Granny."

It has been making me very happy that my in-laws still seem to harbor warm feelings for me. I'm getting to the point where I really don't care what my W thinks about me, but my in-laws are still important to me.