PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

[NYCPeter]

I backslid big time last night.

I went out with friends - but because my W could not get off work and we could only get a babysitter until 8pm - I came home early.

W came hone @ 4:00am - said she was working until 2:30am and then went out for drinks with friends.

I totally lost my cool and have probably lost any chance of reconciliation - I told her she was behaving like a loose woman (though that's not the term I used), I told her I had no respect for her and that she was throwing away a good M to behave like a teenager. I kept asking her if she was with OM.

She said - this is why we have no chance of reconciliation, because she wants a couple of drinks after work I get mad and start an argument. I said she can have drinks but coming home at 4:00am is not the behavior of a W and mother.

Same arguments - same results and I don't learn!!

I also found out she has opened an account with the local credit union - I don't know how much is there, but she used it to pay her L's $4k retainer.

I'm an idiot - these arguments are not DBing or saving out M (if there is any chance of saving it) - all the hard work I put in are nullified by this behavior.