Do I stay or do I go?

[Abbey]

Hope, I hear you.

To be honest, since my H and I had that heart felt on Thurs. His attitude has changed towards me. Much more affectionate. Seemingly more goal oriented about getting his daughter with me in the picture.

That said, I'm still really weary. I KNOW like you, that it's men's default position to want to just "lets forget it" and move on. When you come right down to it though: What we've seen here from men who've had WAWs, it seems that only THEN is there a real motive to look inward and do what's necessary. I'm translating that to our WAH's... they too need to own their responsibility to the mess. AND make amends.

Since I've been the route of "lets just move on" and am now living the replay of a man who's had very minimal grasp of the damage he's done... the hurt he's caused and what this is doing to me this time.

I know though too that Fertel's book does make a point where you do need common ground before you can start to work problems. Nobody wants to try to get back together only to fight, fight, fight, and live open wounds.

To it's a balancing act that only you will know how weave through, based on both yours and your H's personality and needs.

Cheers
Abbey