Things seem to be going well. Last night we went to the Opryland Hotel with the kids. It was wonderful. I'm amazed that I used to hate doing things like that. When they say you don't know what you got until it's gone...they are not joking.
We were walking and we saw a sign advertising the Rockettes christmas show. My daughter asked what the Rockettes are. My wife said that it's girls dancing around and kicking up their legs. I jokingly said, "Well, we certainly have to go now". She looked at me and said, "shut up". I took it as if she was telling me to shut up because I was talking about other girls. Maybe she meant something else, but it made me smile.
We are getting along great. Her attitude has changed and I love it. Before the split she would hold things in until she couldn't take anymore and she'd explode. Then she'd come back and say she was angry and didn't mean what she said...but, she really did. That seems to have changed. For example, we were in her car and she put in a CD of a band I don't like. I didn't say anything (I used to throw a fit about it and make her listen to something else) as this is an area I wanted to change. My D, on the other hand, yells, "Daddy hates that band". My W says, "Yeah? Well it's my car". I started cracking up to which she asked me what was so funny. I told her that I like her new attitude and honesty. She said something like I thought you hated that. I told her that I loved it...she's being honest and open with me.
I also told her that I understand the situation between us and if she needs a break then to feel free to tell me to go home. I really do understand that. My biggest worry right now is too much too soon. I'll be honest, I kind of started enjoying living alone. So, I can understand how a break would be desirable.
One big thing I'm learning is to not have any expectations as far as how they will respond. Right now, I'm doing the things that I help her feel loved. I'm still sleeping on the couch and I feel like she's keeping me at a distance from her. Except last night, I felt that wall fall and she was herself with me. This morning it was back to normal. I'm still looking at the baby steps though. I went from her not talking to me and having an affair to her asking me to live with her. We're working on our M and that's quite a bit of progress. So, I'm certainly not complaining. It's going to take awhile, but she is worth the wait.
