All the talk about maybe this, maybe that, maybe full custody, maybe a second investment property, maybe, maybe, maybe.
He is a man-child. Does he even work? He sees you as his mother (and frankly – you are acting like his mother with all the manipulative comments, and “ideas” you are trying to plant in his head)
He's your husband and he called you his cougar???? For goodness sake. I was married to man 16 years older than me for 12 years and I never once thought of him as anything other than my loving partner and dearest friend. The keeper of my heart for the time we were together - and I know that's how he thought about me. I actually spoke to my X not long after I read your cougar post and asked him his view – and he laughed and said “that’s weird and kind of gross”.
This stuff is going around and around in your head. You are obsessed with the situation … and it is extremely unhealthy.
This man, your husband, needs to man up, consider what his responsibilities are and how he’s going to manage them – including child support, visitation, etc … and he can only do that on his own. You are inhibiting his growth as much as a woman who spoon feeds her child longer than necessary – limiting the child’s ability to feed itself.
Your actions, and manipulative behavior, constant “trying”, cajoling and TALKING about all this stuff is just making you look to him like a desperate old “cougar” who is willing to support him while he does whatever the heck he likes.
Abbey –that’s not OK. It’s not OK for him. It’s not OK for his daughter. It is certainly not OK for you.
When are you going to let him go on his journey and face up to what he’s wrought on his life and the life of his child’s mother, his child and you? He’s behaved atrociously and there are no consequences?? What is that about?
I actually wonder if the issue is that you want to “win” your husband, or you want his new partner, the child’s mother to “lose”. Either way – very unhealthy and unhappy way for you to live.
What do you want Abbey? Do you want a happy life with hope and possibility? Or do you want to be chasing this no-good SOB player around until he’s run out of options.
Seriously Abbey – why would you make this man a priority – when at best, you are a cushy, motherly, option?
(((hugs))) V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
