A Bklyn tale

[gonnawinherback]

Hi BkM,
looking to get started on my own string here, and thought I should familiarize myself with the culture, so I just read your string through. First, great attitude! Love it! Second, your story inspires me - I can see the small but distinct improvements you've achieved, and reconfirms the benefits of DBing. Thx!

A couple of thoughts on your sitch: first, I total relate to your Xmas concerns. My thxgiving was mediocre & expect Xmas could be too. But gotta get through it, act happy for the kids, make it the best you can even if its not what you hoped for. Best scenerio is to own the difference, do something you couldn't have within the R.

Second, although I am the one trying to save my M, I can relate some to your H. Had a wife prone to meltdowns, and worked his butt off to build you up (constantly sayin ILY). Took tons of emotional energy, but wasn't getting the recharge he needed (you mentioned discrepencies in libido). Probably felt like a guy pushing a rock uphill - finally couldn't do anymore, hence ILYBNILWY. Now he's recharging his batteries. Needs to know he wont have to push that rock anymore, or at least the rock is smaller and he can get something back to recharge, before he's coming back to the R. You gotta be STRONG, and he's gotta believe its a permanent change. Gonna take time.

Last, the drinking and email comment about his pain are not signs of a happy camper. I don't think he's loving the coparent thing. My 2 cents.

Good luck! And keep up the good work