Well, I'm back...with bright red face.

[Psych77]

Mr. Bond, W is a New Yorker. Believe me, her whole family is very brash in the way they speak, and I have come to learn it is a cultural thing. Where they come from (their particular NY subculture, I suppose), you speak what is on your mind, and framing things delicately is taken as a lack of honesty. I knew, to some extent, what I was getting into when we married, and I have to learn to deal with the way she communicates - just as she has to adapt to some of my copious "quirks." Although I don't have her style of communication down just yet, I do know enough to understand that what W was expressing was her concern for my health.

Adinva - thank you for your comments, and for your praise. It is important to hear some positive feedback when you are looking to change. W has said frequently that she sees no difference in me (a couple of times I have let slip during an argument and asked), and that can be discouraging.

On the other hand, not time to celebrate yet. Last night W and I got into another argument. It was largely because, when she got annoyed with me, I started pursuing (didn't even realize it until late this morning, as I obsessively played the conversations in my head over and over), obsessing over ironing out this little bump she and I were running over. Then I got upset when she didn't understand my point of view, and got hung up on the verbage she used...it was a mess.

So, I guess it is back to lesson one with me. Have to go home tonight, give W space, live my own life, and be available to listen if she wants to talk.

Thanks for talking (typing) to me. It makes it much easier to keep up my presence on this board, which really helps me to process what is going on in the rest of my life.